WHERE'S MY LOVE?
By: Elyssa Q. Castelo
As I sit down, looking at a blank sheet of paper and a pen, thinking about what words to use, I hear people around me fighting.
As the tone of each gets higher and higher every single time, the man decides to leave, as the woman tries to think over and over if she's wrong or if she's right, and as for the other who continues to walk on pavement but doesn't know where it leads or ends.
If you think about it, we sometimes get into an argument with people, but because of pride, they don't want to show a sign of defeat from a 15-year old girl who thinks more right and maturely of things than most adults, but because of that, you'll get tired too. Because you think that no matter how many times you explain it, the opinion of yours to others is not that important.
And from then on, I tried to live like a 15-year old ghost girl. Because from time to time, people think I'm invincible, but what they don't know is that it's either I'm looking or listening from afar.
I always wondered what it feels like being Casper. I guess that's how he lived his life, very confidential. But no matter how hard you try to keep things, curiosity to people in our generation, privacy or secrets are most likely to be revealed, even diaries don't make much sense anymore.
Love. This is something that everyone searches for. There's so much mystery when you talk about what is the real meaning of this, like on why Hephaestion died for Alexander; Romeo and Juliet, a tragic.
Love is about sacrificing something for someone. Something that is not seen but felt.
Attention. Affection, or imagination, the feeling of being admired and appreciated. I always searched for it. I am searching high, I'm searching low that night. They said you should wait for it because it will arrive the least you expect it.
From then on, I never declined and always said yes to people because I felt like people would see me as a selfish, self-centered person.
As I sit down near the window, the only thing that's lighting my room is the moon. How I wish I was like it, that even though it's alone, it still shines.
Closing my eyes as I breathed heavily, I tried to picture myself.
As I look at the gloomy clouds above the sea, standing barefoot on the warm sand, as the cold waves go back and forth covering my feet, as I feel the cold breeze that freezes me from where I'm standing, the numbness of my body that tries to run away from the pain that's so heavy to carry on the chest, surrounded by people with blurry faces, I slowly open my eyes.
As I grab the sheets and cover myself, looking towards the ceiling, I count my fingers as I slowly drift to sleep.
Would there be a prince charming that will give me a true love kiss and wake me up from a nightmare, where blurry faced people are chasing and haunting me down? If I run away, will I be able to come back home?
Waking up breathing heavily, the fear creeps in as I hold back the tears. Scared, but there's none who will comfort me. If I bleed, will there be someone who would bleed with me? As I look at the clock, as I hear it ticking, every second that passes by, I look towards the door.
But Where's My Love?
(c) elyssacastelo2004
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