The Book Road
I was lost. I knew I was lost. Around me only chaos. What is happening?
In the midst of people conflicts, nature disturbances and families breaking, I continued my unguided steps forward, to nowhere.
Looking from one side to the other, left to right and right to left, I bumped into something. A big tall wall. A door. A plain black door with just a word. "Word."
The black colored door has nothing but the word.
"What is this?"
I could only ask myself. I was walking alone and lost..
I turned around, wanting to ask someone, but everyone behind was busy. Busy arguing. Busy fighting. Busy working. All busy. No one cares around them but themselves.
I had no choice but to get myself to the door. I wanted to leave the crazy world I was in. But...
"This is a black door."
I said to myself as I hesitated to do something. I looked around to scrutinize, analyze and then to decide.
As my eyes landed on the sides, I noticed something. A crack. A flip. So I touched it. And it fell.
"Oh, this door was painted black!"
I concluded to myself as I stared at the white colored word, Word.
Holding the flipped crack, taking it out, I found out it could be peeled off. So I went on to peel the paint off. The door gave out its original color.
I shook my head to my discovery.
"What a cheat! Had I not seen this little secret, I would not dare to find out what this "Word" meant written in front of this black door.
I continued to talk alone to myself.
I got excited with my findings, I stripped here and there the black paint, fake covered color of the door. Finally I was able to take out all the paint and the whole door became white, flashing white like the clear sky. Around me became so white it made me turn around.
As I looked at my back, I was alone! There was nothing anymore. All people, nature and whatever were there before, nothing was left. All gone. I was so surprised. Intrigued.
I looked back to the wall, to the door. The word has changed. The color changed to flashing golden color and from "Word" it turned into "Jesus!"
My mouth opened in an awe. It changed everything inside me. A kind of relief. Fear left me. Doubts were gone. Faith and courage creeped in. It gave me a smile and a happy heart.
"I found Him! I found Him!"
My heart leaped as I shouted with joy. I pushed the wall, my hand got burned. It was hot!
"Ouch!"
As I looked at my burned hands, behind me I heard laughter. I turned around and found no one. Nothing. It became dark all around me except the door. I walked around it, all was black surrounding, except the thin wall. Behind it was nothing but the black surrounding so I stationed myself where the white colored front was, as it gave me light.
I studied the door again. I was looking for a knob, maybe. Nothing. I could not leave it. There was nowhere to go.
Once again I shifted around. Instead of the black surrounding at my back, I saw in front of me a movie. My life!
I became an audience to my own life movie.
As I watched it, clarity entered my mind of everything that I had believed, acted and done. I have sinned!
After my own acceptance of my sins, I faced the white door. I kneeled. I weeped and just weeped. I believed I did so for hours or days. Who would know how long. I was lost. Lost in time and in life. Until I was able to find courage to speak.
With hands covering my face where tears seemed to have stopped falling as I felt I had taken them all out and drowned by it, I lifted my head to look at the name on the door.
"Forgive me. Please, forgive me."
Then I felt myself fall.
"Wake up! The door has opened."
I opened my eyes and saw an angel standing beside me, offering a hand to lift me up from the ground. I accepted it and stood beside her.
"Go enter."
The angel told me.
I looked at the opened door. I could only see it moved to the left side, but just white clouds inside. I looked with hesitation to the angel standing beside me.
"Do not be afraid."
The angel smiled. So I got myself in.
As I stepped inside, I found myself standing in the middle of the two pages of a big, big book! Exactly that line where both pages were united. All the white colored clouds were all gone. But from both sides were only written, readable words.
On the left side, I could only read a word. Genesis.
"Genesis."
I repeated to myself and smiled. I came to understand where I was.
"I am inside a bible."
I looked on the right side where the First Chapter was written. I seated myself by the road, the middle of the pages of the book. Like in meditation, my legs were crossed, my hands on my knees and my eyes wide opened reading the messages in front of me.
"My angel, where are you?"
I called yet no one answered. So I closed my eyes.
"My Lord, I wasn't born during your time. Give me an angel with your Holy Spirit to guide my understanding."
I opened my eyes as I felt a hand on my shoulder. The angel who let me in was seated by my side. I smiled and thanked God.
Then my "Bible Journey" has begun.
As I finished each chapter, I found myself walking ahead in the middle of the book, The Book Road.
Each chapter had been another road. I sat down to read each. Every time that there was something I could not understand or relate their significance in my own life, I turned to the angel on my side.
"Help me."
Then she starts to talk, like a whisper unto me, guiding my thoughts.
There were times I cried as I realized all my stupidities in life. It was those times I have come to find out how patient God has been with me. How much He loves me and how many times I have ignored Him.
Not all times were sad in my journey. There were times I cracked with laughter. Because there were many parts in the bible that were funny. God has humour. God is a father. And I remembered my own father on earth's sense of humour.
There were times when I felt resentment. Not against God, but against people. I could not believe how people could be so cruel and blind to God's kindness and generosity. Then I felt pity for God.
I weep and weep. And weeped.
Everytime it happened, I got a pat on my shoulder from the angel guiding me.
"Just continue."
Those words I heard.
"I'll take a break."
I excused myself most of the time when it happened. I never got a negative response. I was always free.
Every time I took a break, I felt myself getting back to my real world. I found myself closing the bible book.
Then before I knew it, I forgot everything that I had read and had happened. Until something in real life would break and I felt helplessness. Again.
I came to realize some needs to keep myself on the track. Diligence. Commitment. Continuity. Prayer.
Prayer. Instead of putting it the last, I put it first then the rest came after with it. Easier.
Every time I leave the book's road, I prayed:
"My Lord, lead me back again to these roads especially when I need it most and I get myself lost again."
Every time I entered the book's road, I prayed:
"My Lord, guide me through your Holy Spirit to understand your messages behind each word."
For many times I ended up understanding nothing at all. I believe I have not concentrated myself enough on my reading nor on my angel coaching me. Too many distractions have got in. Entertaining distractions had pushed my coach away.
My yearning for God has led me to help myself as well. I started to read, watch and listen. Books, movies and preachers. I opened my mind to both sides of the coin. Understanding how good and bad works. Only to realize in the end, it wasn't me helping myself but God. So I learned to give praises, thankfulness and glorification through prayers. To love Him. To love God.
All because I made the first step. I stepped inside The Bible Road.
Get God, Read and learn. Pray. Again and again. Till reaching the Right Connection. Till it clicks in. Till believing. Till trusting. All through Jesus as God wants to.
"Praises and Glories. Wisdom and Understanding. Power, Honor and Strength. Be with our God as it was from the beginning, is now and forever. Amen."
